Bat Shit Insanity

Apr 19

I always gauge how much I’ll like somebody by how easily I could convince them I’m not a real person.

Apr 17

To avoid boring everyone with details, let’s just say that my car had a right front tire this morning and now it doesn’t.

Apr 17

I’m a nerd. I’m a metalhead. I read comics. I’m a gamer. I have a twisted sense of humor. I care more about my grades than any one person. I don’t have emotions. I’m a terrible person.

Is there any way I can shorten that explanation for when 12 relatives ask me why I’m single this weekend?

Apr 16
Well I’m moving to Finland. Anyone else coming?

Well I’m moving to Finland. Anyone else coming?

Apr 16

As part of a lost bet, I will now send my kik to anyone that messages me for it. Nobody will, but I have to give it to anyone that asks.

Apr 16

Need culture is in now and I hate it. I like that nerdy people aren’t social pariahs anymore, but I hate when non-nerdy people pretend to be nerds. Watching Marvel and DC movies makes you a nerd about as much as playing FarmVille makes you a hardcore gamer. Your 2.5 GPA doesn’t help your case, either.

Apr 15

I got my first anonymous hate mail today. I’m so happy! I’m a real blog now.

Apr 15

Anonymous asked: Get a life, loser.

Oh! You’re one of those anonymous hate mail people that hides behind the anonymous button because they’re small and scared of the world changing around them! I’ve been waiting for one of you. I got hate mail! This means I’m officially a real blog.

Get off anon. I wanna properly congratulate you. I also want to make you watch as I drain and drink the blood of your family. But I mostly wanna congratulate you.

Apr 15
  • Me: I'm sorry. I'm shy around pretty girls.
  • Random girl: Well you don't seem very shy.
  • Me: By that logic, you must not be very pretty.
  • The lengths I'll go for a good burn. That conversation took 45 minutes before it got to that part.
Apr 15

Girls, you may think guys are crazy together and just act stupid, but in the restroom is where our civility is shown. There is a strict, very fucking strict, code of conduct. When a guy breaks any of the rules in that code, he is instantly a pariah and is blacklisted for quite a while.